In the last 10 years I was desperately searching for the “cure” for my eating disorder . I was searching for my “switch button”, you know the magic button that made me drastically turn my life around. The moment where I finally found the light and got the motivation to beat this thing. But it did not come. Yes I had moments of relieve but one way or another the disorder came creeping back. This caused me much frustration and anger towards myself because why couldn’t I find the strength? After all that fighting I have found the real answer. There is no permanent cure for an eating disorder. An eating disorder doesn’t just go away and never come back. It stays with you in a way, it is a wound that can be reopened if scratch it too many times, and that is ok. I have learned that my craving thoughts are the healing”button”. These thoughts are opening my eyes and telling me that “something is not right” and that I “have to listen to my mind and body”. It is trying to teach me and open my eyes, and even though this is extremely tough and painful many times, I am grateful that I am learning what my emotions are so I can finally be at ease with myself.